


i'll show you my hurt and i'll show you my heart

by tgrsndshrks



Category: You Me At Six
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Neck Kissing, Sleepovers, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-21
Updated: 2014-06-21
Packaged: 2018-02-05 14:09:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1821220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tgrsndshrks/pseuds/tgrsndshrks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>dan and josh are the last ones awake so they play the secret game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'll show you my hurt and i'll show you my heart

**Author's Note:**

> dedicated to ashley tumblr user sunriseskaterkid because she needed some fluff.
> 
> i just wrote this so fast and it's not proofread so i apologize in advance for any errors.
> 
> title from youth is wasted on the young by architects.

They're not the only ones lying on the floor of Josh's living room, but they're the only ones still awake. Dan is lying on his back, his eyes glued to the ceiling, struggling to figure out where the horrid pattern up there begins and where it ends. In his peripheral vision, he's vaguely aware of Josh perched on his side, staring at him. His alcohol soaked breath is gently ghosting over Dan's neck, and Dan tries desperately to focus on anything other than Josh.

“Tell me a secret,” Josh whispers.

“Why?” Dan asks under his breath.

“Because I want to know everything about you,” Josh says. “I don't know any of your secrets.”

“Well, I don't know any of yours,” Dan says.

“Okay, we'll trade,” Josh says. “A secret for a secret until we have none left.”

Dan turns his head so he's looking at Josh's dumb smile and says, “The first crush I ever had was Ash Ketchum.”

Josh bites his lip to stifle a laugh. “Be serious.”

“I am,” Dan says.

“Mine was Prince Eric from The Little Mermaid,” Josh says, and Dan decides that from this moment, Josh is his new best friend. He clasps his hand over his mouth, muffling his giggles. 

“No way, you are such a liar,” Dan says.

“No, for real,” Josh says, frowning at him.

“Fine,” Dan sighs. “I hate my body."

“What?” Josh exclaims, before remembering to lower his voice and hissing, “Why?”

Dan shrugs. “Because I do.”

Josh scoots over closer to Dan, grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers. “I used to have an eating disorder.”

“Holy shit,” is the first thing that slips past Dan's lips. The next thing is, “When?”

“Two years ago.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

Dan rolls his eyes. “Why didn't you tell me?” he asks.

“We didn't really know each other back then; that would've been some heavy shit to lay on someone I'd just met,” Josh says.

“But why didn't you tell me sooner?” Dan asks.

“It never came up.”

“But are you... better now?”

“I'm eating like a healthy person, if that's what you mean,” Josh sighs.

Dan turns the conversation back to the original purpose by blurting out, “I'm in love with one of my friends.”

“Oh my god,” Josh says, “are you kidding me? Who is it?”

“I'm not telling,” Dan says.

“Oh, don't be like that. Can I guess?”

“Even if you guess correctly, I'm going to deny it,” Dan says, looking at Josh.

“Bitch.”

“Whore.”

“Ouch,” Josh mocks. “That hurts me so much. I've never been called a whore before.” He tries not to smile too much. Dan smirks, glancing sideways at Josh. 

“I just wanted you to shut up,” Dan says. “Your turn.”

“I got my first blowjob in the bathroom at a restaurant while I was out to dinner with my parents,” Josh says.

Dan very nearly dies on the spot. “From who?”

“One of the waiters,” Josh says.

“Male or female?”

“Male.”

“Fuck,” Dan sighs. “I'm a virgin in every single way.”

“Seriously?” Josh asks, and Dan's rather surprised that his friend isn't mocking him. “Like, never even been kissed?”

“Never.”

Dan keeps his eyes on the ceiling, violently praying that Josh won't notice him blushing. Unfortunately, Josh's face appears above his, and before Dan can react to his presence so close to his nose, Josh kisses him. It's barely even a peck; Dan doesn't even have a chance to kiss back before Josh pulls away with this dumb grin on his face.

“There,” he says, rolling off Dan and lying on his back. “Now you've been kissed.”

“Fuck you,” Dan mumbles, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand and pushing away that weird butterflies feeling he always heard he'd get when this finally happened.

“What? Do you want to be, like, a relationship virgin forever?” Josh asks.

“Call me an idealist, but I kind of sort of wanted my first kiss to maybe be with someone I was kind of dating who also loves me, rather than a pity kiss from my drunk best friend,” Dan says.

“I kiss good, dammit.” Josh sighs. “You're a hopeless romantic.”

“And you are going to regret kissing me in the morning, when you're less impaired by alcohol,” Dan says.

“Will not,” Josh insists, then frowns as he fully comprehends the conversation. “Wait, I'm your best friend?”

Dan pouts. “Yeah.”

“Since when?” Josh asks.

“Literally about ten minutes ago,” Dan says.

Josh turns his head to look at Dan and smiles. “Come here.” Dan rolls his eyes, but moves towards Josh anyway, resting his head on Josh's shoulder. Josh nuzzles his nose into Dan's hair. “You've been my best friend since the day we met,” Josh decides.

Dan blushes and attempts to hide his grin. “Oh yeah, make me look like the horrible friend in our relationship,” he remarks.

“Shut up,” Josh teases, and begins to absentmindedly run his fingers through Dan's hair. “Do you think there's any vodka left?”

“I don't think you should drink anymore vodka,” Dan says.

“No, probably not,” Josh says. “Fuck, when did you become all sensible?” Dan chooses not to answer, and they're silent for a few moments before Josh whispers, “So, which one of our friends are you in love with?”

Dan groans and quickly schemes. “On a scale of one to ten, one being beer and ten being moonshine, how drunk are you?”

“I don't know,” Josh says. “I keep telling myself I'll remember this in the morning, but I probably won't.”

“Not drunk enough.”

“Dan!” Josh protests. “Not fair.”

“How is it not fair?” Dan asks.

“I always tell you who I'm crushing on,” Josh says, as if it's obvious.

“And I never have any idea who you're talking about,” Dan says. “It's different if you know the person.”

“But now that we've affirmed our status as best friends, we should know every tiny, insignificant detail about each other, even the size of our dicks,” Josh says. Dan looks at him.

“I'm not showing you my dick, Josh,” Dan says.

“Why not?” Josh asks.

Dan laughs, because it's all he can even manage at this point. “You're so fucking drunk.”

“Am not,” Josh says, reaching for Dan's pants. “Show me.”

“No,” Dan says, rolling away from Josh. Josh shuffles closer again, but manages to keep his hands to himself.

“Okay, fine; I'm sorry,” Josh says.

“Go to sleep, Josh,” Dan says.

“No, we're not done swapping secrets,” Josh insists.

“What else do you want to know?” Dan asks.

Josh relocates his head to Dan's shoulder. “Do you masturbate?”

“That's not really a secret,” Dan says.

“Well sorry,” Josh sighs sarcastically. “Do you?”

“Well, yeah,” Dan says. “I'm a teenage boy. I'm assuming you do as well.”

“Obviously. Kinks?”

“What?” Dan laughs in surprise, nervousness. Josh is all wide eyed and curious.

“Kinks,” Josh repeats. “What are your kinks?”

“Why do you want to know that?” Dan asks.

“I'd quite like to be tied up. Handcuffs and shit.” Josh is acting as if this is an incredibly casual conversation. “Your turn.”

“I've never had sexual experiences, remember?” Dan says.

“I know,” Josh says. “And I've never been handcuffed, but I still think it's hot. I mean like, what do you want to try, given the chance?”

“Nothing unusual.” Dan blushes again and mumbles, “but I sort of... kinda have this thing for necks... kinda like I think being kissed there would probably be really nice.”

“Biting?”

“Nah, just lips and tongue,” Dan says. Josh purrs, and Dan feels himself shudder. 

“That's hot,” Josh says. He rolls onto Dan, straddling him, and declares, “I want to try.”

“Try what?” Dan asks, sort of caught off guard now that Josh is on top of him. Josh's expression is dead serious.

“I want to kiss your neck,” Josh says.

“No,” Dan says.

“Why not?” Josh asks.

“That's your answer for everything,” Dan sighs.

“It's my motto.” Josh grins. “If someone tells you that you can't do something, you say 'why not?' and prove them wrong.” Dan smiles, and Josh quickly kisses his neck, just below his ear. Dan gasps, completely caught off guard. “Like that?” Josh asks softly.

“You're drunk,” Dan says.

Josh shakes his head and kisses Dan's neck again, this time a little further down. Again, Dan inhales sharply, and Josh giggles, "Sensitive." He continues to kiss up and down Dan's neck, and every so often he flicks his tongue out to lick a strip of Dan's skin. Dan just stares up at that terrible ceiling, breathing hard, head tilting back every few kisses as Josh finds a new spot to work at. When he eventually pulls away, Dan actually whimpers there right in front of Josh. Josh smiles, and presses his lips to Dan's cheek, right next to his ear, and for what feels like forever they both lay there, completely motionless.

“No matter where you go, or who you meet,” Josh whispers eventually, “no one will ever find you as sexy as I do.”

There is complete silence as Dan's thoughts all simultaneously go into overdrive. He replies with the only words that still seem to make sense.

“I'm in love with you,” Dan says.

“I know,” Josh replies flatly, kissing Dan's jaw. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”

Dan bites his lip, and Josh moves close to his face, rubbing their noses together. 

“I'm going to kiss you again, okay?” Josh asks.

Dan nods and closes his eyes as Josh closes the gap between their faces. He mirrors every movement of Josh's lips, every tilt of his head and every action of his hands until they pull apart.

“Here's another secret,” Josh murmurs. “That was the best kiss I've ever had.”

“Liar.” Dan smiles.

Josh returns the smile, then rolls back onto the floor and curls up into Dan's side. Dan turns his head so his cheek is resting on the top of Josh's and slips his hand under Josh's shirt, slowly tracing the outline of his ribs with one fingertip.

“You're the most amazing person I have ever met,” he breathes.

“Liar,” Josh mimics.

“I'm serious,” Dan insists. “You were... sick, but you managed to overcome it, and here you are now, one of the most intelligent and self-confident people I know. I mean, like, if it was me... well, I don't know.” Dan shrugs. “I don't think I could've done it.”

“You can do anything,” Josh says.

“Bullshit. How did you do it?” Dan asks.

“I don't know,” Josh says. “Luck. Patience. You.”

Dan rolls onto his side so he's facing Josh, using the Josh's arm as a pillow. “Fuck off. Me?”

“I mean, I didn't know you... but I wanted to, and the only way I could've done that is if I lived, so I ate. I mean, it wasn't just you, I was hospitalized and I had a shitload of therapy, but you were a deciding factor in my efforts to get better,” Josh says, nodding slowly, certain in his own words.

Dan lightly pecks Josh's lips and asks, softly, very delicately, “Can you fuck me?”

Josh nods. “Now?”

“No. Not now.” Dan rolls his eyes.

“Good. Then I can make it special." Josh grins.

Dan blushes for the thousandth time tonight and Josh kisses him on the cheek before nuzzling his face into Dan's neck again. “I'm really sleepy all of a sudden,” Josh says.

“Enough secret swapping for you?” Dan remarks.

“No, but there'll be other nights. There are more stories. Promise?”

“Promise.”

Josh kisses Dan's neck and whispers, “My perfect boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Dan asks, half-shocked.

“Yeah, you don't get a choice,” Josh says. “I like you, so you're my boyfriend.”

“I suppose I'll have to agree, then,” Dan says.

“Shut up. Let's get married,” Josh says.

Dan scoffs. “Are you proposing to me?” he asks. Josh nods. “Fucking hell, you're so drunk. I'll think about it.”

“You'll think about it?” Josh asks.

Dan sighs. “If I say yes, will you go to sleep?” he asks.

“Yes,” Josh says, “although I'd prefer you to say yes because you love me and want to spend the rest of your life with me.”

“I'll marry you, if you still want me in the morning, that is,” Dan says.

“I will,” Josh murmurs, lightly pressing his lips to Dan's neck again. “I'll always want you.”


End file.
